Still Depressed - What can I do?

Jamal is still calling us "married in the religion."

I'm still trying to pull apart from him.

Every time I find the time and energy to take the serious steps to push him away ("I'm really serious about it this time!"), he gets our now 13 year old son depressed and upset at me for "pulling our family apart."

Last week I met with the muslim woman who couciled Jamal and I in our marriage prior to him divorcing me ... well the civil "American divorce." She is the age of Jamal's mother and has been all over the WORLD in U.S. embassies representing women's rights. She gave me "homework": take a walk 3 times in this week.  Ten minutes out, ten minutes back. Oh, and don't get involved in arguing with Jamal.

Oh I have such a migraine headache this week.

I know I love Jamal.  But when he went and married Taghreed in 2010, it just has to be over for us. I cannot be involved in this plural "Islamic polygamy marriage."  Taghreed doesnt want it either.  What was he thinking?!  How is it that he would think that we would both go along with this?!  Does he really think that he is "all that"?!

He and Taghreed had the child called Aya July 19, 2012. Now, I found out the first week of Jan. she is pregnant again.  Last night he told me she is almost 17 weeks pregnant.  That means this baby will come just about exactly on Aya's FIRST birthday.

I know... i shouldnt worry about this.  I should say "none of my business."  However, he keeps saying he's broke, poor, hasnt paid the mortgage in over a year... and his mom, dad, 3 brothers - adult (over 30 yr old) , and a nephew who's here in the country for college live in the attached one bedroom mother-in-law apartment.  In his home is him, Taghreed, Aya, his sister who is in college, and my 3 children who are there part-time.  It is a 3 bed-room.  Now, he's making it clear he's anxious to have more kids.... and not wanting to move because he's not having to pay rent/mortgage.  My 12 yr daughter tells me the roof still leaks... they still leave the big plastic storage bins out to catch rain.

I still wonder if there is mold in the attic.  I am going to have to call dept of children and families to check it out now that there is suspicion... that's not goin to go over well with him and her.  But as a teacher (mandated reporter for other people's kids), I'd be a horrible mom not to make sure my own kids are ok.

ugh.

headache